Author Archive

chasing communication

There are times when I’m trying to get an answer from someone, and I have to chase them for an answer. I find this to be extraordinarily frustrating. What it boils down to is this… my priority for getting an answer is higher than their priority for giving one.

In this situation, I have a choice amongst 3 paths:
(1) Feed the frustration and keep chasing and chasing the answer.
(2) Match my priority to theirs and potentially let the item fall by the wayside.
(3) Find some sort of middle road that has me sending periodic reminders but puts the ball for action in their court. Whenever their priority rises to the level that giving an answer is important enough, I’ll get that and be able to move forward.

Path 1 is not healthy. Path 2 is honestly an option to be considered sometimes. Path 3 is what I try for most often.

To be transparent, I still experience some frustration on path 3, but I also have clearer boundaries in terms of my responsibility. I have communicated what I need, and I can’t move on to the next step until you respond.

Clear communication, delineation of responsibilities, and taking ownership of my own actions. That’s what I can do. I have no control over someone else’s priorities or actions.

It’s one of those combo platters of taking control and letting go. Sometimes they just have to work together.

amplification or distraction?

“So part of the discernment that we need as creators is to tell the difference between someone who will take our time and someone who will amplify our time.”
— Seth Godin

The quote above refers to people. That resonates with me a great deal.

That said, in the moment that I’m writing this, I’m finding more resonance by replacing “someone who” with “projects that”. So many of us have a notebook of ideas. Things that we want to create when we have the time or the resources or any number of other triggering factors.

I’m feeling called to pursue one of the projects in my notebook. But I’ve also been on a journey the past few years of trying to simplify. Adding a new project to my workload is a step away from simplifying. What I had to sit with before deciding to pursue this new project or not is whether that step away from simplification might also be an amplification of my time, or if it might just be a distraction.

Do you have any questions like that (about people or projects) in your life?

community profile: gloria wong tritasavit

We’re so pleased to introduce you to another member of our massively cool community of Bacana clients. Welcome to Gloria Wong Tritasavit!

Introduce yourself.
My name is Gloria Wong Tritasavit. I’m a San Francisco native. Co-founder and creative director for Harlow & Grey – a line of modern party goods that I created with my cousin Jeanne. I’m happily married with three crazy kids – a 7 year old and 4 year old twins. Busy family life! Instilling values of love, compassion, empathy, and equality in my kids on a daily basis is and will always be one of my highest priorities.

What’s something making you happy right now?
My bed. Sleep can be scarce with three kids who are either waking up from nightmares, talking in their sleep, or are sick. I really love when I get to rest peacefully in my comfy bed!

When was the last time you surprised yourself?
I’m the least athletic person I know. I was throwing around a toy basketball with my son the other day and surprised myself by making a shot in the hoop.

What’s something that brings ease into your life?
Prayer.

What’s something you’ve seen or read recently that you want to share?
The documentary Happy! Its message is not profound by any means, but it’s such a good reminder (especially for all of us who live near Silicon Valley) that money, image, status, and power account for very little of what actually makes people happy. Yet it’s what many spend most of their time chasing after.

Where can people find you?
harlowandgrey.com
Instagram @harlowandgrey

 

just missed a big bird

Some people might see a couple of arrows pointing to an area that needs attention from a work crew.

Me? I wonder when the big bird passed through and marvel at the long middle toe.

Have you ever changed the mundane into something a bit magical?

community profile: jeanne chan

We’re so pleased to introduce you to another member of our massively cool community of Bacana clients. Welcome to Jeanne Chan!

Introduce yourself.
I’m Jeanne Chan, and I’m the co-founder and marketing director at Harlow & Grey, a modern party goods line I launched with my dear cousin Gloria. I also write a lifestyle blog, Shop Sweet Things, dedicated to sharing modern living, design, style, and snippets of my life as a mom with my two girls (age 7 and 5 – very fun ages!)

What’s something making you happy right now?
My Pilates sessions. Feels good to pay attention to my body again after not working out for almost 7 years.

When was the last time you surprised yourself?
I just finished a book! (Crazy Rich Asians)

What’s something that brings ease into your life?
I also started Vedic meditation. Still trying to hone in on the practice, but when I do carve out the time to for it, it feels very cleansing for the soul. The other thing that is bringing ease to my life is Good Eggs, an organic grocery delivery service I use weekly. I do live in San Francisco after all. 🙂

What’s something you’ve seen or read recently that you want to share?
It’s not something that I’ve read or seen, but I started listening to “The Goop” podcast. The inaugural episode with Oprah is honest, funny, and incomparable. The “How I Built This” podcast is something I’d like to listen to as well when I need a boost of inspiration or motivation in business and entrepreneurship.

Where can people find you?
shopsweetthings.com
Instagram @shopsweetthings
harlowandgrey.com
Instagram @harlowandgrey

 

strength

For much of my life, I have been very, very active. Starting as a dancer and a (pretty bad) gymnast at age 5, and then moving into martial arts (primarily capoeira and later tae kwon do). I used these skills in life and in my jobs as a stunt performer. I was strong and fit and pretty damn tough.

After some health issues, I spent several years away from any consistent physical activity. I’d have short spells of taking classes here or there, but nothing as dedicated as I had previously been.

As I write this, I am 3 months in to an attempt at renewing my focus on physical health. My goals are increased strength and endurance. I want a useful body.

Even though I far prefer learning an art form over training at the gym, I also recognize that the gym might be what I need as I nomad around the world. And, to be fair, I do rather like some of the weightlifting. Especially deadlift. Makes me feel strong.

But there is danger here. As I feel my strength growing, as I lift heavier & heavier weights, I start to compete with who I used to be. This 41-year-old body is not the same as my 30-year-old body or my 20-year-old body. I start to think in terms of limitations, and it frustrates me.

There is a great deal of strength in gentleness. And there can be a power in respecting boundaries. I have great admiration for the physical strength I once had. I’m learning slowly to have respect for the different strengths I have now.

Here’s to competing with our past selves and hopefully walking to the finish line arm in arm.

not what you look like

The huntsman is a shy spider. Not aggressive at all. But it’s also a very, very big spider. So some people, especially those who don’t know of its shy nature, might not react well to its presence.

I was speaking to someone not long ago and discussing how I’m an extreme introvert. He was surprised. “You’re a very confident introvert.” I explained to him that introversion is not the same as shyness, nor does it mean someone has a lack of confidence.

I had surprised him because his perception of me led to some untrue assumptions.

This (not so) little guy (or gal) didn’t stay in the bowl, by the way. He (or she) had decided to meander into the bedroom, and so I just relocated him (or her) outside.

Big but shy. Confident but introverted.

Have you had a huntsman moment lately?

community profile: kimmy williams-pigliucci

We’re so pleased to introduce you to another member of our massively cool community of Bacana clients. Welcome to Kimmy Williams-Pigliucci!

Introduce yourself.
My name is Kimmy, and I am a San Francisco native. I am married to an Italian and work as an Esthetician and Health & Wellness Coach. I run a skincare clinic in my hometown called AES Acne Clinic, where I combine skincare and lifestyle coaching to help people struggling with acne get clear holistically. I also teach trauma-informed yoga in the community.

What’s something making you happy right now?
My 3 furry cat babies: Antonio, Lucilla, and Supplizio. They always make me happy!

When was the last time you surprised yourself?
I am always surprised when I cook something that is edible, but the other day I made a dish that actually tasted good!

What’s something that brings ease into your life?
I practice yoga and mindfulness which helps me tremendously. I also love a good bath with some music and lots of candles.

What’s something you’ve seen or read recently that you want to share?
I am currently reading two fantastic new books: Nurturing Resilience by Kathy Kain and Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness by David Treleaven. They both present cutting-edge information on psychology and mental health that is relevant for anyone interested in the mind-body connection.

Where can people find you?
http://aesbeauty.com

hawaii in ice

I know the shapes aren’t quite right, but these patches of ice on the train window from Sweden to Denmark made me think about my former home in Hawaii. How’s that for worlds apart?

Where do you find reminders in potentially strange places?

what makes beauty?

This is Hamburg in early February 2018. To my eye, this view isn’t particularly beautiful. That said, during my brief time there, I encountered generosity of spirit, whimsy, and kindness from several people. So now, when I look at this photo, I see beauty.

Eye of the beholder and all that, no?

Where do you see beauty?